You know, I love doing boudoir, but I have always struggled with my own self body image. I struggled through anorexia as a junior in high school. My family never even noticed it. I was sick all the time, and dehydrated and headaches. I still have a hard time accepting my body. I get happy when I see the number on the scale was smaller then the last time I checked. I feel sick when I see it went up, even by just a pound. I don't like my hair. I don't like how I can never control it, or that it's so curly and dead. I don't like my nose. I feel like I have a cute nose, until you get to my nostrils. They're huge compared to the rest of my nose. I don't like my lips. I feel like my bottom lip is cute, but my upper lip is too thin, It's uneven so putting on lipstick takes way too much effort.
Despite the self hatred I have, I do know I love the people I have done boudoir sessions with. They're all my friends, and I care deeply about them. I think they're all beautiful. Karlee has these piercing green eyes with perfect eyebrows and an amazing body. Riley is fun loving with curves that honestly make me jealous. Breanna has a take charge personality, and you can see it in her confidence. Jeanine is fun and amazing. She is tiny, yet fierce. Jill is kind, unique, and super fun and outgoing. She was my very first model with boudoir.
Your personality shines through the photos you do. Boudoir makes you feel exposed. Naked. It makes you exposed to the world as you, and you are beautiful. When I did mine, I felt confident and beautiful. I felt powerful and sexy and even more importantly, I learned to love myself a little bit more. That is my goal as a boudoir photographer. I want you to love yourself a little more then when you walked into the room, or when I step into your house, where ever we are doing the photoshoot. I want you to feel powerful, confident, sexy, and most importantly, loving yourself.